i'm medicated, how are you?

[ryanleeds]

I was reading Scalzi's post about how straight white men have it easier and I felt he did a really good job at explaining the concept to people who are frightened of the word privilege.

Then I read the comments. Of course people are overreacting and even claiming that a queer woman of color has it easier than a straight white man in modern society. Although there are some good comments in there from people who finally get the concept. So while some people may not have read it closely, some people benefited it. I'm probably going to bookmark it for when people are being ignorant.

Then I am following the Undead Press saga, which is getting more and more ridiculous as it goes on. And is making me slightly wary of small presses in general, but I'll probably get over that.

I really want to get a subscription to Discover when I have the chance. I remember enjoying it so much as a kid and there's something about actually holding a magazine and reading it.

Also, I'm having difficulty getting words out right now (well words I like). I'm still working on my challenge, but I have very little plot worked out and I'm still running into the wall of healthy relationships being way too boring.

Comments

[magistrate]

Does the story have to include a healthy relationship, or be about a healthy relationship?

[ryanleeds]

The story isn't really about the healthy relationship, it's just a pretty big part of the story so far. And I'm also not entirely sure it's actually healthy.

[magistrate]

I was just thinking – if the relationship isn't the point of the story, it seems like you might be able to focus on something you do find interesting and let the relationship play a support role instead of a focus role. Though I don't know the specifics of the thing you're writing.

Or there could be negotiation and challenge in the relationship which is handled in a healthy way, but which could still engender some drama?

[ryanleeds]

Hnn.

Basically, the major drama in the relationship focuses on the challenge in the relationship -- the protagonist's partner has fallen out of religion while her wife has been called into the church. This is coming more into the forefront as their oldest son is starting to develop his own ideas about religion.

I think you have it right -- let the relationship play the motivation for the protagonist's spiritual journey, but allow more dialogue in the relationship so the protagonist and her partner handle their spiritual differences without letting it ruin their relationship, or poison the protagonist's relationship with her wife.

[thiefofvoices]

There is also the idea of possibly adjusting your idea of a healthy relationship. There are the ideas that society has about healthy relationships, and then there are healthy relationships (that are actually healthy, as in they do not contain abuse of any kind and are working out well for all parties involved) that society does not necessarily condone. Such as polyamory and various types of kink -- both things that can be incredibly healthy to people but are not necessarily thought of as such. *shrug*

[squeemu]

HIJACKING THIS THREAD TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF AW YISS

...This. Describes all of the relationships I love reading about. They don't involve the usual romantic relationship narrative, but the people in the relationships still get what they need out of it. And in fact, most of them wouldn't get that out of society's idea of what a healthy relationship is like.

Also, it brings to mind a story that my dad loves telling about a course he took in college where the prof had two couples come in: one who treated each other politely and respectfully and talked quietly about their day, and the other who argued the entire time. And afterwards, the professor asked them which couple they thought was 'healthier,' and almost everyone said the first group, but it turned out the second couple were happier in their relationship. They worked their problems out better and enjoyed each other more, blah blah the whole point is just that what works for some people doesn't work for others.

And, uh, to clarify, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, I'm more preaching to the choir here, I'm pretty sure.

[ryanleeds]

...right, I was supposed to be writing an optimistic story, too. This is supposed to be happy. WELL FUCK. (I'm only a 1000 words in. I can make it happy! I swear!)

The protag and her partner have a quiet way of arguing and they often push aside their problems until their children go to bed. (Luckily there are ~plot reasons~ for the children to go to bed early, even the teenager.) I think there are healthier ways for them to handle their issues, but I don't think what they're doing is inherently unhealthy because they do get to their problems by the time they need to.

[ryanleeds]

WELP, speaking of polyamory, the healthy relationship I'm writing is a lesbian triad. Like I was going to write a monamorous heterosexual couple having tea parties. =P Oh god, if I ever write that hit me with a switch. Not that there's anything wrong with the couple... but the tea parties.

But I think you have a point about society's view of what is a healthy relationship and what actually is a relationship without abuse or codependency. Normally, I'm used to my sketchmeter being calibrated the wrong way, but I think when I start questioning my own ideas of what a healthy relationship, I'm usually right -- it is a healthy relationship, it's just not a condoned relationship.

[thiefofvoices]

...your next challenge is to write a heterosexual romantic monogamous tea party and make it interesting. >:D

[ryanleeds]

“More tea, my darling?”

Emily stared off at the sunset. In the end, it wasn’t as beautiful as her husband so she stared back into his dreamy blue eyes. “Of course,” she said.

The tea was cold now; they’d been sitting out in the park for almost eight hours. That didn’t stop her from drinking it. Marshall had made it, and that was good enough for her.

“I’m so glad you send the kids to your mother’s,” he said. “It’s been forever since we’ve actually talked.”

“Yeah, weekends are spent with birthday parties and dance recitals. And by the time you get home from work, you’re too tired to do anything but watch some television and go to bed.” Emily smoothed the blanket, moving closer to her husband. “Just think about tonight. No kids waking up in the middle of the night. Just you and me…”

“Oh, trust me. I’m thinking of it.” Marshall grinned then leaned in to kiss his wife.

The twilight left the park in a semi-darkness, almost worse than the pitch of night. But the couple didn’t care. They had each other. They didn’t hear the rustle in the bushes; they were laughing too hard.

Emily screamed. Her dress was splattered with blood and her husband slumped over on her. There as a small scaly thing, about the size of a chicken with awkward feathers sticking out of it. It turned its head, letting out an awkward squak before digging even further into Marshall’s bleeding flesh. The man was in too much shock to make a noise as he bled out.

Before she knew it, they were swarmed. She stood up, trying to shoo them away with her feet, but they just bit deep in her legs with razor sharp teeth. Blood soaked her dress and she screamed even louder, but there was no one to hear it. One of the raptors scuttled up her dress, peering at her before taking a chunk out of the side of her face. She collapsed, her legs no longer able to support her. Feathers tickled her body as bones were stripped clean and the blood stained the blanket.

Almost no carnage was left by the time the sun set completely. The bones were almost completely stripped of flesh.

The raptors stood around their kill site, staring at one another.

“Tea?” one of them said.

“That sounds lovely.”