Ryan Leeds

When I'm finished tonight, I should be about 10% done with The Clockwork Ghosts. It's been really fun to work on so far, but I'm not sure what the point of the dog is so far, except to make it a boy and his dog story. It really kind of makes me sad that the protag is male because who ever writes a girl and her dog?

I haven't gotten the desolate feeling of the setting down yet, but that's what revisions are for. I'd like to get to the point where I can introduce the female MC, but I don't think that's going to happen tonight. I merged a couple of chapters today to make it more readable, which seems to be working well. The flow is a little awkward, but again -- revisions.

I keep having flaily moments while writing this that I don't even know what I'd DO with a manuscript if I had one. I've been able to quell that some of that by telling myself that what you do with a manuscript is write it. And the fact that if I can actually finish this, I'll be able to write another novel more easily. Which will make going back to work on God Was Wearing Black a lot easier. I'd also like to sketch out the plot to Sparkle, but I don't think I want to work on it until I've finished this project.

Looking back at The Way You Whisper, I really want to figure out how to do the revisions on it. I love the story and the way that spirituality and relationships are portrayed in it. I love the fact that I've managed to write a scene with four characters talking at once. I don't love the rushed pacing at the end.

Tomorrow is Pride and I'm not sure if I'll be going. I have a ticket, so I may go for a bit and see if I can handle it. There will just be so many people and I have a lot of writing I'd like to get done on Saturday as I probably won't have a lot of time to write on Sunday with church and all.

I also need to transfer NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES to my phone so that I can read it while I'm on the bus. It's not the greatest book from what I've read so far -- it thinks it's the most awesome book in the world, I think is part of the problem -- but it's been enjoyable.

A friend let me borrow a book that she got from the library, Luna. It's the story of a girl whose sister is in the process of dealing with her identity as a woman and going from open at night to going in public as a woman. It had a great way of pointing out the selfishness of embarrassment and wish that a loved one stay closeted for your own sake and had a realistic view of her sister dealing with that. I didn't like the fact that it harped on the Harry Benjamin Standards of care and some of the terms that Luna used to describe cisgender women and trans women, but I'm pretty sure the author is cisgendered and so may not know that much about the modern trans community.

It was nice reading something for once and it made me realize that I need to get a library card. In order to do that, I need to get more mail. (Anyone who wants to send me a letter is free to do so, but unfortunately it will have to be sent to my current legal name, I think, in order for me to prove residency. I will gladly privately share my email address with you.)

I never did recap my adventures on Disneyland. Needless to say it was a lot of fun and Space Mountain was an experience I'd like to repeat.

I want to thank all of the people who have helped me with getting my dog once again. You have all been so generous and it means so much to me. I am hopeful that I will be able to get my dog back and not have to take her to a shelter.

In completely unrelated news, I filed for a name change today. I've been waiting for this moment for 5 years. (Actually, I've been waiting for a name change since I was about 5, so 18 years, when my mother promised me one. She's just unwilling to pay for me to change my name to a male one.) Because I'm on government assistance, my filing fees were waived and my shelter is paying for the publication fees. (Which is a little wonky right now because I need them to call and give the credit card number while I'm at the courthouse. So I haven't filed for publication yet, but everything else is in line.)

My hearing date isn't until August 10th, but I'm already feeling a lot of weight off my shoulders. Getting the right name on my ID will keep me from being abused at a lot of hospitals, feeling sick at the DMV and the Social Security Office when they call me by the wrong name, and in general make me feel safer when presenting my ID to anything else. And it will finally stop people from putting my name in scare quotes.

As soon as I can be seen by mental health at the Children's Hospital, I'll be filing for a gender change. In California all you need is a doctors note saying that you're taking the proper medical steps to transition to X gender. And you can file for a gender change. I fucking love California. No surgery required. Now if only they would do something for non-binary people and gender markers. (I have been informed by magistrate that the only place that does this is Nepal. Nepal.

There was a lot of running around the courthouse (go to this window then this office then come back and go to another office) which wasn't very good for my leg, but I'll be taking a tylenol soon and hoping the inflammation goes down.

But all in all, today was a very good day, and considering how things have been lately, I'll take that. And keep it for when things get worse.